WELLBEING SERIES: SLEEP AND THE GREEN ZONE: FINDING BALANCE THROUGH REST
By Katrina Gow
How do you feel when you wake up most mornings? Rested and ready to face the day, or irritable, agitated, and unsettled? Maybe your eyes feel dry and gritty, your mind already racing. Or perhaps you wake heavy and groggy, unsure whether you’ve had too much sleep or not enough.
Sleep is one of the simplest markers of wellbeing we have, yet it’s often the first thing to drift when life becomes demanding. Most of us don’t stop to ask why we sleep, or how much our sleep reflects what’s happening in our lives. We just know that when it’s off, everything feels harder — patience, focus, mood, and energy all take a hit.
Your sleep is a clear reflection of your stress levels. If you are fortunate enough to spend most of your days in your Green Zone, which means your emotions fluctuate flexibly between feeling calm and being stressed enough to be focused on specific tasks, but not so stressed that you feel overwhelmed, then your sleep is likely to be stable and natural. However, the challenges of modern life and parenting often push you beyond your limits, making it difficult to return to a calm and settled state, which is important for good sleep. The Orange or Red Zones are where your body and mind struggle to switch off. You might fall asleep easily but wake early with racing thoughts, or find yourself lying awake, unable to enter deep rest even when you’re exhausted.
In this blog, we’ll explore how sleep is one of the pillars of your wellbeing system, and what happens through each stage of sleep, how stress disrupts those patterns, and how you can support your body’s natural rhythm so you can function and feel more balanced.
Your Sleep Stages
Each night, your brain and body move through a beautifully complex rhythm of rest and renewal. You move through two main repeating types of sleep: Non-Rapid Eye Movement (NREM) and Rapid Eye Movement (REM). Each cycle, lasting about 90 minutes, one focused on physical repair, the other on mental and emotional renewal (Carskadon & Dement, 2011).
During the first part of the night, NREM sleep dominates. It’s divided into three stages:
- Stage 1 is the lightest sleep and is that drifting moment when your body relaxes, and your thoughts break into fragments.
- Stage 2 accounts for about half of your total sleep time. Your breathing and heart rate slow down, and your brain starts producing sleep spindles, or rapid bursts of activity that help block out noise and shield you from sleep disturbances (Carskadon & Dement, 2011)..
- Stage 3, also known as slow-wave sleep or deep sleep, is when the magic of physical restoration occurs. Growth hormone peaks, muscles repair, your immune system strengthens, and your brain waves synchronise into a slow, rhythmic pattern (Carskadon & Dement, 2011). It’s the kind of sleep that leaves you feeling truly rested.
As the night advances, REM sleep becomes more dominant. During this phase, your brain’s electrical activity closely mirrors that when you’re awake, but your muscles are temporarily paralysed to stop you from acting out your dreams. This is when most dreaming occurs, and your brain consolidates learning, creativity, and emotional memories (Rasch & Born, 2013; Walker, 2017). REM sleep helps you process the day’s events by integrating new information with what you already know. That’s why, after a good night’s sleep, a problem can suddenly seem clearer or less overwhelming.
Throughout the night, you go through these cycles several times, with each REM phase growing longer as morning nears (Carskadon & Dement, 2011). When your sleep is disrupted, whether by a restless child, a wandering mind, or the buzz of your phone, you often miss out on those later REM-rich hours, meaning your emotional and cognitive recovery is shortened.
If you’ve ever felt physically fine but emotionally fragile after a sleepless night, that’s probably why. Without enough REM sleep, your amygdala (the brain’s threat detector) becomes more reactive, while the prefrontal cortex, your calm, logical decision-maker, is reduced (Goldstein & Walker, 2014
Understanding these stages isn’t about thinking that you must have eight uninterrupted hours of sleep every night; few parents have that luxury. It is about recognising the changing nature of parenting and maintaining flexibility that will help you manage this demanding period and ultimately recover.
Why Sleep Goes off-track for Parents
If you are a parent, it is likely that you have known sleep deprivation intimately. Those middle-of-the-night feeds, sudden cries, or worries that jolt you awake all interfere with the natural rhythm of sleep. Fragmented sleep is common in parenthood and can last many years.
Part of this disruption is biological. New parents, especially mothers, often experience lighter and more fragmented sleep in the postpartum period. This heightened responsiveness to infant cues is arguably a survival mechanism that supports vigilance and caregiving during a vulnerable stage of development. However, there appears to be a tipping point. Research suggests that poorer sleep continuity is associated with a reduced ability to sustain sensitive responsiveness toward infants (King et al., 2020). When fragmented sleep is layered on top of the broader stressors of daily life, the cumulative strain can begin to erode emotional regulation and stress resilience (Meerlo et al., 2008). What may begin as adaptive vigilance can, over time, shift into exhaustion.
Why Sleep Matters for Your Wellbeing
Sleep is one of your body’s most powerful regulators. During rest, your brain and nervous system rebalance; stress hormones stabilise, your immune system strengthens, and your emotional circuits process the day’s experiences (Rasch & Born, 2013; Walker, 2017). When that process is cut short, you start the next day carrying a higher stress load, physically, mentally, and emotionally. You may notice decreased patience, increased irritability, or difficulty concentrating. These are signs you are moving out of your Green Zone, which makes it harder to adapt and stay flexible.
How much sleep is enough
This is the big question, and like all things, there are general recommendations, and then there is you, and how you feel you work best.
Most adults require seven to nine hours of sleep each night, but this number varies depending on age, stress, and life circumstances (Carskadon & Dement, 2011). Parents of young children often get far less, and while the body can temporarily adapt, long-term sleep loss makes emotional and physical recovery slower. Going to bed and waking around the same time each day helps your circadian rhythm stay aligned, making it easier to fall asleep and wake naturally.
When sleep is adequate, your brain integrates learning and emotion more effectively. Problems that once felt overwhelming can seem manageable by morning, because your mind has had time to process and store emotional memories during REM sleep (Goldstein & Walker, 2014; Rasch & Born, 2013). Sleep is not just recovery; it’s a nightly reset that restores perspective and balance.
If you find yourself tired but wired, remember this is your biology at work, not a personal failing. Your body is designed to protect you from stress, but also to recover, given the chance.
What You Can Do
You can’t control a baby’s feeding schedule or your teenager’s midnight returns, but you can nurture the conditions that make restorative rest more likely.
• Create a gentle wind-down. Dim the lights, slow your breath, or stretch before bed. These cues tell your nervous system it’s safe to switch off.
• Be mindful of stimulants. Caffeine and alcohol both interfere with REM. Try shifting your last coffee earlier in the day.
• Rest where you can. Even short naps or quiet moments with eyes closed can reduce cortisol and refresh your mind [9].
• Share the load. If you have a partner, alternate night duties when possible so both of you can recover.
• Notice your inner dialogue. When you can’t sleep, frustration only fuels wakefulness. Remind yourself: This season will pass. That self-compassion activates calmer physiology.
• Seek natural light. Morning sunlight helps reset your circadian rhythm and can improve your nighttime sleep quality.
You might also begin to track how sleep affects your Zones. On mornings when you wake feeling rested, notice how that steadiness shapes your thoughts and behaviours. Then observe the people around you — are they calmer when you are? Do you find it easier to stay present and manage their emotional swings when you feel more grounded?
On tired days, be gentle with yourself. You may not function as well, and that can ripple into the moods of those around you, especially younger ones. That’s okay. Parenting is a journey through the full spectrum of emotions; the goal isn’t to avoid stress entirely but to notice when you drift away from your Green Zone and find your way back with care. Remember, awareness itself is a step toward balance.
Final Thoughts
Your sleep tells a quiet story about your life, how much stress you’re carrying, how safe your body feels, and how easily you can return to balance. Each night offers a chance, however small, to reset and begin again. When you start noticing these rhythms with gentle curiosity rather than judgement, small shifts often follow naturally.
Over time, these small moments of awareness help expand your Green Zone. With a steadier base of rest and restoration, patience comes more easily, perspective widens, and connection feels closer. In this way, tending to your sleep becomes an act of care, not just for yourself, but for everyone around you.
Katrina Gow
Katrina is a compassionate and skilled counsellor dedicated to fostering mental health and resilience. In 2025, she will contribute her expertise as an advisor to a Deakin University project addressing school attendance issues, helping develop strategies for improving educational outcomes. Additionally, Katrina is part of the Victorian Parents Council team and writes insightful blogs for the VPC, offering support and guidance to parents navigating challenges in education and parenting. Through her work, she strives to create positive change in both individual lives and broader community settings
References
Carskadon, M. A., & Dement, W. C. (2011). Normal human sleep: An overview. In M. H. Kryger, T. Roth, & W. C. Dement (Eds.), Principles and practice of sleep medicine (5th ed., pp. 16–26). Elsevier Saunders.
Goldstein, A. N., & Walker, M. P. (2014). The role of sleep in emotional brain function. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 10, 679–708. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-032813-153716
King, L. S., Rangel, E., Simpson, N., Tikotzky, L., & Manber, R. (2020). Mothers’ postpartum sleep disturbance is associated with the ability to sustain sensitivity toward infants. Sleep Medicine, 65, 74–83. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sleep.2019.07.017
Meerlo, P., Sgoifo, A., & Suchecki, D. (2008). Restricted and disrupted sleep: Effects on autonomic function, neuroendocrine stress systems, and stress responsivity. Sleep Medicine Reviews, 12(3), 197–210. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.smrv.2007.07.007
Rasch, B., & Born, J. (2013). About sleep’s role in memory. Physiological Reviews, 93(2), 681–766. https://doi.org/10.1152/physrev.00032.2012
Walker, M. (2017). Why we sleep: Unlocking the power of sleep and dreams. Scribner.
