Support for School Attendance Difficulties
Louise Rogers & Tiffany Westphal from School Can’t Australia
Who is School Can’t Australia?
School Can’t Australia (SCA) is a national peer support community, for parents and primary carers, supporting children and young people experiencing school attendance difficulties. SCA’s Facebook group was started in 2014 by a parent, travelling the School Can’t Journey alongside her own child. In 2024 the community has over 12,500 members. Through sharing stories and supporting one another, members of the group have co-created knowledge of what works and what doesn’t. SCA is a registered charity, run by a team of volunteers with parental lived experience of school attendance difficulties.
What is School Can’t
School Can’t (also known as School Refusal or Emotionally Based School Avoidance) refers to a child or young person’s difficulties attending school, due to high levels of stress and distress. Something is wrong. Children and young people experiencing school can’t need their grownups to pay attention, to listen with curiosity and compassion, and to help them through a very hard time.
School Can’t may appear mild at first, with children and young people expressing reluctance to go to school, to get ready for school, to get in the car, to eat breakfast, or to go to bed at night. They might report feeling unwell with a stomach upset or a headache or difficulty sleeping. These children and young people may still be attending school most days or manage to get to school with a little reassuring encouragement.
At it’s more extreme, you may see a child or young person in fight, flight or shutdown. They may appear worried, fearful, running away, hiding, frozen, or unable to speak. They may be angry or aggressive. They may be overwhelmed, burnt out, anxious or depressed. They may struggle to get out of bed, or to leave their room, or the house. They may experience suicidal ideation or engage in self-harm.
Often children and young people hide their difficulties at school. Teachers may report that the child or young person is doing fine in school, but they have not witnessed the after-school meltdown or seen the drama that plays out before school.
Reasons for School Can’t
There are many reasons why a child or young person may experience difficulties attending school. These include bullying, difficulties with schoolwork, difficulties with friendships, difficulties with staff or with the school environment, or involve a personal loss, such as an illness or death in the family, a friend or pet.
Many of the parents in our peer support community, are supporting children and young people with disabilities (e.g. Autism, ADHD) and specific learning differences (e.g. Dyslexia, Dyspraxia Dyscalculia). This suggests more work is required to make educational environments inclusive and accessible.
The Parent Experience
Supporting a child experiencing school can’t, can be extremely stressful. Parents are worried about their children and young person’s wellbeing, and about the impacts to their child’s future if they miss out or fall behind in school. They may struggle to understand why their child is distressed about school.
It is an extremely isolating experience as it impacts a parent’s capacity to participate in community. Parents also experience a lot of shame, which can make talking to others hard. The pressure can also impact negatively on familial relationships.
School attendance difficulties may impact parental capacity to work and earn and income. Parents fear losing jobs, or not having enough money to cover basic expenses.
Parents also find themselves busy as intermediaries between their child or young person and school. There is a lot of pressure from the education system to get children and young people back to school quickly.
Parents often get poor advice on how to manage school attendance difficulties, such as advice to use rewards systems or to make home boring. This is usually because the advice giver is viewing the problem through a behaviour lens. SCA’s lived experience suggests, this is not simply a child or young person being wilful, but a child or young person who is struggling. Rewards and sanctions will not address the underlying cause of school attendance difficulties and may add to the child or young person’s stress load by punishing them when they are not coping or pressuring them to go back to school before the cause of their distress is identified, acknowledged and addressed. Lived experience has shown us that it is far more helpful to focus on supporting a child or young person’s wellbeing, than it is to focus on restoring their attendance. With wellbeing as the priority, we can then identify and address the barriers and stressors impacting a child or young person, that are making it hard for them to attend school.
How Do We Help?
School Can’t Australia’s parent peer support community, offers a safe space for parents and carers to connect with one other. We share our stories, help one another with problems, and share information about resources and supports we have found helpful.
Supports and resources span a wide range of topics, including stress management and regulation support, problem solving, self-compassion, mental health, disability, financial support, working with schools, finding community supports, inclusive and trauma informed education, alternative education environments, school reengagement programs and human rights.
We hold online and in person peer support meetings, and webinars on topics relevant to our community.
We also engage in outward facing advocacy. We work collaboratively with research and policy makers. Raising awareness and creating shared understandings are our biggest challenge.
Where To Find Us
You can find our parent peer support community at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
There is currently a wait time of approximately 3 months before joining.
Our peer support community is for parents and carers only. Professionals wanting to learn more about how to support children and young people and their families with school attendance, may send an inquiry via SCA’s website.
Website: www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au
Email: [email protected]
Crisis Support
If your child, young person or you are in crisis, please call:
Emergency: 000
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800
Louise Rogers is a parent peer mentor, coordinator and board member for School Can’t Australia, and a qualified teacher.
Tiffany Westphal is a parent peer mentor, coordinator and board member for School Can’t Australia, and a social worker.
