CREATING SPACE – A WAY TO REFLECT, RESET, AND PLAN THE YEAR AHEAD

The holidays are not far away, and for many of you, they may not come quickly enough. Maybe you have had one of ‘those years’ where your stress levels have been pushed to new heights, or it could be that it feels like you are pushing harder to get the same amount done every day. If you feel like this, or even if you don’t, using some of the holiday period to reset and reflect on the year and how you and the people in your house are doing is worthwhile. Creating some space to feel calmer and, therefore, be able to think more clearly is a valuable tool to have in your life tool kit. 

Creating space gives your mind and body time to switch out of stress mode and down into rest and relaxation mode. When you do this, many good things can happen mentally and physically. You can think of it as easing your foot off the accelerator of your car so that rather than revving the engine hard, which over time will cause wear and tear, you drive it at a speed that respects its changing limits and capacity. 

There are many ways to look at creating space, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, it is better if it isn’t. Simply taking the time to read this blog may create a little space for you to reflect on how you feel and become more aware of what is going on in your life that may need more focused attention. Maybe right now is a good time to pick up a pen and make a few side notes you can return to later. You can think of creating space as allowing you to get out of your busy thinking mind and to connect with how your body is feeling. Stress finds its way to all parts of your body, and busy minds distract you from noticing the small changes. Busy minds also reduce your capacity to be present and attentive to the young people around you who may need your help. 

Finding what works for you is key, and you may need to try a few different ways before noticing any benefits or changes. Creating space, like any new habit, requires a clear intention, repetition and practice to embed the behaviour. Here are some starting suggestions to help you on your way:  

1. Physical Space 

Addressing your physical space can often be a tangible way to get the ball rolling. This can include 

• Do a mini declutter. You can start anywhere. It can be your living space or workspace. Even a messy drawer can be an excellent place to start. Remove, donate or discard anything that you no longer use. 
• Simplify your schedule: Review your commitments and identify tasks or activities that can be delegated or removed. Prioritise what truly matters to avoid overcommitting yourself. 
• Create a dedicated space – if you have a quiet corner or room that you can set aside to develop into a place that you associate with calm, is excellent. The activities you might do here would not involve too much engagement with intense thinking. Activities might include meditation, reading, writing, yoga, and other art forms. 

2. Mental Space 

Rather than starting with physical space, you may prefer to start at the top and address your busy mind.  

• Practice mindfulness: Being mindful just means being present to whatever is going on around you without judgement. It means noticing your thoughts without getting caught up in a conversation with yourself in your head. Being mindful can be as simple as describing to yourself what you can see in the room around you, what you can hear, what you are touching, and what you can smell. If you are eating, you can focus on taste. Connecting to your senses helps you stay present and not disappear in your thoughts. 
• Screen-time:-  Screens are part of modern life, and just like your children, you can become distracted by the endless enticements that scroll past at the swipe of your finger. The trick here is to be aware of what you are doing so that you are making a choice about how your time is being used. If watching an hour of Netflix on your own is part of your unwinding time, that is fine. If one hour seeps into 5, then, in the name of creating space, give yourself a conscious time limit and stick to it. The same goes for scrolling on social media platforms. Know what you are doing and limit how much of your valuable time and thinking capacity you give to it. 
• Journaling: I have mentioned journaling before, as I am a big fan. Writing down your thoughts can help you process emotions, organise your ideas, and clarify your worries. This practice allows you to create mental space by shifting your thoughts onto paper, allowing you to see them differently. However, writing isn’t for everyone, and voice-to-text communication is another good way to ‘journal’ thoughts. It isn’t necessary to look at or listen to your thoughts afterwards. That is up to you. 

3. Emotional Space 

Addressing your feelings is another good starting point for creating a sense of space. However, starting here can be a little harder because when you feel stressed, that feeling tends to generate thoughts that everything is bad. Negative feelings tend to give rise to negative thoughts. However, there are some ways to create space via your emotions: 

Self-Awareness: – Simply becoming aware of your emotional range. Start to notice your emotional patterns and what influences the ups, downs, and everything in between. This is valuable knowledge for you. Are you stuck in a particular emotion and can’t seem to move? e.g. do you feel irritable all the time or sad or angry? It is essential always to be willing to check in with your GP or mental health professional if you are feeling emotionally stuck and can’t seem to feel better. 

Recognise Your Needs: Identify what you need in terms of emotional balance. This might include time for self-care, space from certain people or situations, or emotional support when needed.

Practice Saying No: Saying no is one of the most important skills for setting emotional boundaries. You don’t have to justify yourself or feel guilty. Be honest but kind about your limits.

Assess Requests: Before agreeing to something, take a moment to assess if it aligns with your emotional needs. Ask yourself: “Will this contribute to my well-being, or will it drain me?”

A final thought 

Creating space can be as big and literal as finding a particular room or area just for you. It can also be as small as changing how you breathe by adding a pause that you intentionally create between each inhalation and exhalation. The purpose of creating space is to help you understand your stress and implement changes that will help you move forward. It cannot be understated how much you increase the benefit and positive influence you will have on your children as a consequence of giving yourself some time. 

Katrina Gow

Katrina is a compassionate and skilled counsellor dedicated to fostering mental health and resilience. In 2025, she will contribute her expertise as an advisor to a Deakin University project addressing school attendance issues, helping develop strategies for improving educational outcomes. Additionally, Katrina is part of the Victorian Parents Council team and writes insightful blogs for the VPC, offering support and guidance to parents navigating challenges in education and parenting. Through her work, she strives to create positive change in both individual lives and broader community settings.